October is the month set aside to recognize National Domestic Violence Awareness. Many of us have been directly or indirectly affected by domestic violence. It is not limited to a particular race, educational background, socioeconomic status, religion, or gender. Domestic Violence can occur within marital relationships, dating, and cohabitation relationships.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (http://www.thehotline.org/). defines abuse as “a repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over an intimate partner. These are behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of abuse can be going on at any one time.”
God really can destroy every detrimental thing in someone’s life. Sometimes He does it sovereignly and other times He has significant people and resources already in place to assist with a safe plan of action. If you or someone you know are experiencing domestic violence it’s important to note that none of us have the power to change anyone not even the abuse that is coming from someone that we love. Pray and ask God to intervene, pay attention to the signs of abuse, and by all means get help! Always remember that God will never stop loving you, and it is not a lack of faith to ask for help.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline website is a wonderful resource for someone who is experiencing this painful existence. It is full of information including the signs of abuse, the cycle of abuse, and so much more. The hotline is open 24hrs with trained advocates standing by to talk with you. The phone number is: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) and the number for the hearing impaired is: 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). They also have a chat line that is open everyday from 7am-2am (CST). Note: it may be safer for you to use a computer outside of your home ie., library. To find out more information about this topic go to: http://www.thehotline.org/
Reflections
1. Do you know anyone (including yourself) who has been affected by domestic violence?
2. How was the issue of domestic violence handled?
3. A lot of people are very opinionated and judgmental when a woman stays in an abusive relationship. One of the first things they usually say is, “why doesn’t she just leave.” However, you rarely hear them say, “why does he keep abusing her.” What are your thoughts on those statements?
Below is a poem that I wrote about domestic violence titled, “The Bear and You.”
The Bear and You
A poem about domestic violence
by Min. Kimberly L. Smith
You have to learn how to play the music until the bear settles down
And learn how to walk softly until you think he’s not around
Meanwhile your insides are screaming and you just don’t know what to do
You’re praying some miracle would happen and somehow he’d wake up anew
Anew . . . able to love, able to speak kindly, able to apologize when he’s wrong
But, no matter how hard you pray, he keeps on shouting the same old song
His words are thrown out like fists with iron knuckles
They just keep coming and coming, no mercy is in his blows
And when he’ll get tired, no one knows
You seek shelter, somewhere where you can’t be found
But, next thing you know, the bear is back around
Growling, punching, scratching, yelling . . . when will he ever be through
Whenever it is, it won’t be soon enough for you
God Bless,
Minister Kimberly L. Smith
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